Well here we are. Almost 40 and no where near being fit. Actually this is the heaviest I've been all my life. Sad but true. I've descided to start this blog to keep myself motivated and accountable. I have been trying to lose weight since I had my son in 2006 then my daughter in 2009. I used to work at a call center where I did nothing but sit all day. Not a good thing when trying to lose weight. Then my husband was always gone at work so I felt like a single mother. Adding to the mess was allowing my mother to move in to help with the kids. When I tell you she is the most negative person I know, I am not exagerating. I did start doing p90X in 2012 and stayed on it for about three weeks. Then the floor fell out from under me. I found out my husband had been cheating on me. I guess the silver lining was that when something really bad happens in my life, I lose weight. Not because I am eating right and exercing but because I have so much stress eating becomes a challenge. My stomach does all sorts of crazy things that won't let food stay down or if it does, it flows right thru if you get my drift. In spanish it's called "nervious" meaning nerves. That is about the only time I can count of losing alot of weight in the littlest time. Every breakup I have ever gone thru I have lost a minimum of 20 lbs each time. Well this time it was 30, getting me down to 157. Still not a low weight but if you are at 187, its a bit much is that timeframe. Well two years of couseling and back and forth we are trying to make our marriage work. We got so close to divorce (three days from it being final) at times but my faith in God made me stand fight for my marriage. We are doing better but with that came the weight gain. Not only did I gain the 30 back, it brought friends. An extra ten to be exact. I sit here today at 197. I want this journey to change my mind as well as my body. I want my kids to grow up knowing that hard work and dedication does pay off. Don't get me wrong, it sucks being this heavy, but I am not misreable or depressed. I love my life. I still wear cute dresses (thank you Michael Korrs and NY&C for bigger sizes), do my make up everyday, and take care of my appearance. The weight gain came because I was miserable in my marriage. Now that we are communicating and Mr Mann is home alot more, it makes it so much easier to be happy. The weight didn't just magically come off as I was expecting. I've developed a lot of bad habits while going thru this messy life. Habits are hard to break. I am currently starting insanity with Shaun T. I also get Shakeology with I credit for giving me a life line. I am not dieabetic or have any sorts of obese related alligments. I drink shkeology once a day and figure it gives me that small advantage that stops me from developing these illnesses. Is it all in my head? Who knows. For now I am staying on it. Please don't thing shakeology is a magic potion to lose weight. I've been drinking it since 2012. It came along for the ride when I lost all that weight due to stress and it was still riding shotgun while the weight all came back with friends. I had a shake every morning. Thru good times and bad.
Now the stats. I am 5'4 apple shaped. Currently 197. I have this doughy stomach that hangs over my underwear. To make matters worse, I am not lucky enough to have fat in my boobs. I am a small B :( Have you ever tried getting a bra when you are a 40B!!! Doesn't exist!! For some odd reason, society believes if you are a bigger girl, you must be busty. Well not me!! Not even at Lane Bryant. Closest I've come to a comfortable bra is 40C. It fits great around my back but the cups flow empty. Oh well, this weight is just a pit stop to greatness.
Now the fine print:
I am not a fitness expert.
I am not a nutritionist.
I am not a grammar expert, there WILL be misspelled words.
I am not a beach body coach.
I am not sponsored by beach body.
I pay for all my own workout related products.
I am motivated.
I am human so mistakes and setbacks will happen.
I will try to answer any question you might have concerning my journey.
I will be completely honest with you.
I will not judge you so please don't judge me.
I am catholic and it WILL come out a lot on my posts.
I am not ashamed of my body big or small.
Lets do this together.
So lets see what 63 of hard cardio exercises can do for me. Will I have setbacks? Ofcourse. I am human. I am not aiming to be a fitness model. I just want to be fit and healthy. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that if I finish this program I will be rewarding myself with a pair of boobs? I know, I know, some of you may think it's shallow, but I have always been a small B. Even after I gave birth to two beautiful children, my boobs stayed small. Who knows, by the end I might just change my mind. I guess you will have to stick around and find out. Love you guys! Stay positive always and smile...a lot even when it hardest to.
